In time for Christmas – Chapter One

I’ve always thought our garden a lovely affair. It’s satisfyingly wild, has more than its fair share of brambles, annoys the neighbours to head popping proportions, produces random harvests of edible fare with little human intervention. This includes such delicious things as red flesh apples, pears, chives, fairy strawberries, the very occasional courgette & of course brambles, to sometimes embarrassing amounts. It’s also overwhelmingly green, in a thoroughly calming fashion.

This has been the status quo for many a year, with only the occasional proffering of sharp implements as any attempt at pruning & the disgruntled chucking round of the lawn mower, without any real enthusiasm, nature is a strong & beautiful contender. However. The time has come for some indepth intervention, for a more organised & human presence in the undergrowth. It’s going to take a sharp pair of secateurs, some big girl wellies & an element of grit (the name of which I’m yet to learn) but I have a plan, of sorts. I’ll reword that – I have an end goal. Christmas dinner 2020 (bar the turkey, there is only so much pain I can conscientiously put my neighbours through & I think that will push even the most reasoned of them over the edge). We’re talking all the veg you can shake an ethically acquired turkey leg at, we’re talking ‘The Good Life’, we’re talking Barbara, we’re talking dungarees!!! We are talking the whole hog here folks, bar the actual hog.

And there’s the rest of the green stuff to address too, or redress into interesting shapes & I’d quite like the patio back under my  control at some point or at least we could draw up some kind of time share contract. I’m open to negotiation. And then there’s the rocks & stones… They’re under there somewhere.

Big Girl Wellies


Back down to earth.

I’ve got the Garden..

I’ve got the Big Girl Wellies..

I’ve got all the books…

I’ve even got some tools…

I’ve sort of got the determination..

I’ll get a plan…

And I’ve got a whole year…. More or less.

I can’t see anything going wrong….

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