Chapter Two


Chapter Two then. No pressure, I mean what do I actually write about, what do I actually show you now I’ve declared all that Chapter One to the world, hopefully excluding the neighbours, I mean that could be awkward.

September is marching on, it’s mostly wet, it’s mostly warm, it’s mostly heading in a Autumnal direction. Equally so it can’t make up it’s mind & so my clothing choices are appearing fairly random at the moment, I either look like I’m on holiday in stormy conditions or going on an expedition when I should be dressed for the beach, well not the beach – this is the North – we have limited expectations here in the North.

Being dressed appropriately for the garden is, I’m finding very important. You can’t just wear anything old thing. For example. If you choose to wear an old pair of favourite skinny jeans which really are past their best but perfect for gardening as they tuck beautifully into your Big Girl Wellies but happen to split in a fairly unfortunate place as you gracefully pirouette & fall into an empty flower bed, narrowly missing two concrete slabs either side, after tripping over the root cutters, then these are not fit for purpose. File this under ‘There was an Incident’ & DO NOT REPEAT. And that’s them in the sewing basket for the foreseeable future, waste not, want not & all that. (And I didn’t even get applause can I just say that, not even a slow hand clap.)

There’s been a few other small demoralisers. Midges. These are very small & superbly irritating & oh my good grief I was covered in their ridiculously stupid little bites. I shan’t go into details, again with the unfortunate places but they had a field day. I’ve now taken to a liberal dowsing of fly repellent when venturing in the garden direction, even wearing my Bez hat & liberally coating that, & you’d think that would be enough but no – inside my glove on the end of my little finger. WHO DOES THAT.

Anyhoo, work has commenced. It’s became quite apparent that all the excitement & enthusiasm in the world wasn’t going to get me anywhere if I didn’t have a starting point. Which turns out to be all about the chopping back of years & years & years of over grown stuff. And not even in the back where I expected, where the edibles will go but in the front. It’s all a bit like making an omelette isn’t it, you have to break the eggs first. Surprisingly this has been turning out to be quite satisfying, if you forget about the endless thorn splinters & aforementioned midge bites. I’ve taken to hacking the unnecessary greenery with a savagery & vigor I never knew I had. It’s been ever so therapeutic. I’ve discovered trees I never knew we had, there’d been that much greenery, much of which has to go as it’s all too big & too close to the house which is such a shame. The smaller saplings I find, I’m going to save & put in pots temporarily to either use elsewhere or give away. There’s seems to be a million goat willow (I’ve just learnt this – a little knowledge goes a long way) also known as pussy willow. Which means I need to add tree books to my Garden Reference Library. I could set up a separate page for that couldn’t I – ooooo – exciting!!!

Lots of existing shrubs, trees & plants have been pruned with in an inch of their lives & a monstrous amount of grass has been lifted to reveal steps that I knew were there & where they were but it’s nice to see them again. The green bin has taken a battering with all this extra greenery so this has meant more trips to the tip, which is fine, as tips go, ours is quite nice, although I’m not a connoisseur you understand, it’s not on my ‘List of things to do things to do before I die’ you know to visit other tips, it’s not a conversation starter ‘ oh have you been to our tip, it looovely’, it’s just it’s a nice tip. Which is just as well really as the bin men wouldn’t empty the green bin this morning. Back to the tip then. Buggers.

So, what next. More savagery & more excavation I hope. More photos. Crow bars & my beloved wheel barrow are getting in on the act. It’s a handsome thing – I question whether it should have a gender, I’m thinking he… Yep definitely he. I’ve not even named you know, I’m not even sure I should… Nah, who am I kidding!!! And I’m thinking prosecco for his first outing, he’s never been used, seems appropriate wouldn’t you say? What shall we call him? He needs a name!!

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